HUSH

Seven Summers Too Long...

2011-12-14T01:38:00.000-08:00

It has been far too long since I last posted here and I am glad to say that's because I have been very busy creating some new work.

I have been exploring the art of writing, not the prose poetry that I have been chipping away at with my songs but full on big time book writing. Yes I am pleased to say that I have emerged from the cave on the hill with over 70,000 words in the form of a illustrated novel. So inspired by this momentum of creativity I knocked off a short story and illustrated that too!

Seven SummersShort is a short story of a teenagers rights of passage. As told through theeyes of Charlie Hush who spends his teenage summers on holiday with hissisters, cousins and grandparents. This is a short story of one life growing and exploring whilethe other is growing weary and failing. I wanted to capture in words and image thequiet and fragile, yet profound and powerful moments that can happen between agrandfather and his grandson.

This inspired seven paintings that are now installed in a temporary exhibition in a suite of offices in Cardiff city centre. The paintings are 2x4 feet and framed in black timber. They are boards of marine ply with coated and uncoated areas of oil paint in order to reveal the exposed grain of the wood. I use a mixture of gold and silver enamel paint with oils and biro pen.

Please visit the website to see all the images....Bill Taylor-Beales

Concrete Sun

2010-06-26T10:25:00.000-07:00

Today I am listening to Rachel Taylor-Beales and everywindow is open...

Every window is open.
Every TV is on.
Every fan is spinning.

I am Breathing air like concrete.
I am the last corners of an ice cream carton.
I am no longer attached by gravity to this particular planet.
I am a glorious line of washing drying in seconds hanging high and without motion.
I am a haze encasing a view from an old Welsh hill.
I wish I was Eddie Vedder singing an Indio cover.
I am remembering that if no one speaks of remarkable things Jon McGregor will.
I am waiting for the last Dr Who as one waits for a pizza to arrive.
I am running out of battery on my mac and I am away from main line civilisation.

I am not watching one of the many grass based activities.

I am not legend.

will the real me please slow down

2010-06-12T09:18:00.000-07:00

Today I am listening to Mike Scott and it was a wonderful disguise.

Being busy.
Being very busy.
The faster we move the less we see the less others see us.

There is an HG Wells story about speeding up your own time frame, so that everyone else seems to be moving very slowly, Mr. Wells likens it to how a Bee must feel: as though it exists in a parallel universe.
In the story the character who gains this power realises that he can now intercept peoples lives now for good. He can move obstacles out the way of folk before they trip and fall. He can now observe that which passed him by before, a lady of poor means staring into a shop window with longing for the item within and he can really take time to see her and to understand her and help her.

Speed is a wonderful disguise.

I re-read an old children's book from the fifties 'The Fitton Fourposter' this week. I had bought it from a charity shop in Nottingham during a time of recovery from acute anxiety.It held within it a strong timeless tonic. A soothing balm. A steadfast panacea. The pages were thick and tanned and in it four high school kids foil a bank robbery and capture the robbers who had hid 'the loot' in a museum.

Rose tinted spectacles are a wonderful disguise.

Once upon a time, a long long time ago. So long ago that it was in black and white. So long ago that only I and my invisible friend remember it.
Well once upon a time there was a thing called Sunday.
The day once called Sunday was a pretend day.
It was a day you could use to hide from the other days.

Eliminating the pause button is a wonderful disguise.

Mike Scott explains his inspiration “I was living in the Findhorn community in the mid 1990s and started to see divinity in peoples’ faces, in their eyes... changed the way I look at life and other people forever, ... I realized everyone really is the same deep underneath, with the same longing to love and be loved. Behind all our appearances, as one writer says, ‘There is only one of us here.’

Good reasons to cry

2010-06-06T07:47:00.000-07:00

Today I am listening to Rachel Taylor-Beales and feathers and flowers lay on the floor...

Reason 01: Seeing your future, and loving it!

In actual fact as i sit writing this I am listening to Rachel performing a cover of the Indigo girls song Closer to Fine in the living room, one of the many bonuses of living with a talented guitarist and vocalist. I recently bought a replacement copy of the Indigo girls CD and had forgotten how good it was. I actually performed the same song as Rachel walked down the aisle on our wedding day.

Reason 02: An audience who gets your art!

But Feathers and Flowers lay on the floor...the scattered debris left over from last weeks CD launch of Rachels new offering 'Dust and Gold'. Last week saw over a hundred folk enthusiastically chanting for more as Rachel drew her set to a close. Rachel had written all the material, created a highly dynamic and talented band, and performed the songs with conviction - it was a place to be - as Nick Drake once said.

Reason 03: The exposure of human nature at its best.

I had yesterday off and managed to finish "The Book Thief', a stunningly beautiful book written by 'death' about a 13 yr old girl in Nazi germany during the second world war who befriends a jewish man. The prose is original and

poetic - the story is unflinching and the characters made me care!

Reason 04: The Dr. and a brilliant use of time travel.

Last night was the surprise reason to shed a tear, I usually applaud and smile as the end credits of Dr Who roll up especially in this 'boys own adventure' stylee series of the Dr. But last night after a rogue beasty was demised came a beautiful scene with Vincent van Gogh - Bill Nighy - the Dr and his lady: what aline up! The Dr. decided to show VAn the man just how appreciated his art was. My personal thanks to Richard Curtis.

The elevator is moving

2010-05-15T08:35:00.000-07:00

Today I am listening to Vaughn Williams and the lark is ascending...

Someone somewhere chose some wood and nylon string and crafted a violin.
Someone somewhere chose a series of notes and placed them in an order and created a song.
Someone somewhere chose to give up their time to practice playing the violin and learn to play the song.

I chose to listen to the song.
This was one of my better choices.
My choice was rewarded with an ascension of mind and spirit.

Other choices I have made have not been rewarded.
The choices were not bad ones.
They were not ill informed.
They were not malicious.
They were simply not rewarded.
They were simply my choices.

"I bid thee grapple chaos" said Ezra Pounds.
"I bid thee make choices" said Me.
"I bid thee choose to grapple the chaos, wrestle with it and sometime, somewhere, you will ascend.

You may only ascend a little way but in a world in constant descent this becomes important.

In 1727 Antonio Stradivari chose to make a violin
In 1914 Vaughn Williams chose to write The lark Ascending
In 2007 Janine Jensen chose to perform The lark Ascending on the Stradivari violin.
In 2010 I chose to listen.

The next 8 mins are all yours... enjoy.

Under a Plane-less sky...

2010-05-02T05:52:00.000-07:00

Today I am Listening to the sound of the bank holiday...Nick Drake, My dog crunching its' new bone, Rachel turning the pages of the Uncut magazine, The washing machine from the other room on spin cycle...

Today I am watching the blossom from our cherry tree cascade down in the light breeze and fall onto the freshly hung-out washing on the line.

The sun is blooming...

Last weekend I was listening to songs by people I had never heard of from a very small mobile phone with a surprisingly powerful speaker. I was up a very tall ladder tied onto a railing and I was painting the awkward bits of a large mural. The r'n'b phone noise belonged to one of the teenagers who had turned up to paint a mural they had designed inspired by listening to stories from the over 50's in their community. This is what is known as an intergenerational community art project. This is one of the things I do for a living. This is a very good thing.

The sun was illuminating...

The weekend before that I was laying on the grass surrounded by some friends at the Reading services. We were on our way to our friends daughters 1st birthday on the Kent coast and pausing for a little half time picnic. I lay listening to the animated conversation segueing between the leaders debate - the volcanic ash - the quality of writing in the girl with the dragon tattoo - the way people open their prepacked sandwiches (deciding to follow the printed instructions or find their own way in).

We were not there yet.
We were miles from home.
We were at a place where no one stays too long.
We were amongst strangers.
We were in transit.
We were under a plane-less sky.

I lay on the grass and the sun was stretching itself out.

Who pays the piper?

2010-04-10T03:30:00.000-07:00

Today I am listening to Gillian Welch and everything is free now...

Come gather around the tribal fire and listen to the story teller, dance to the rhythms and be transported to the world that exists as bookends to this 'elementally physical' one. The role of the shaman, the witch doctor, the gospel priest is to gather us and unpack us in a community place so that we can release and engage with the spirit - soul - energy - id - of what it is to be alive and mortal. We are born and we will die on our own as individuals, but in-between we collide and stick and come apart and fight and love each other. We desperately try and work out who we are and how we fit into existence by sharing our hopes - dreams - thoughts - fears - of what it is to be alive.

Artists also play the role of the shaman - the witch-doctor and the priest, they explore the high mountains and the dark caves of being alive the pure and the plastic of people. They digest experience and they ruminate and they expel ideas in image and sound. These images and sounds can arrest us - transfix us and transport us. They can connect us. They can unite us.

So who pays the piper?

If we want the artist to be true and to tell us what they have found in the high places and dark caves, we must value the time and energy and material cost to their artistic production.

In other words, and I hope I'm not sounding to radical here, we must pay them for the art they produce.

If a recording artist has made a piece of music for £x then that is what we pay to have that piece of music.

This is not a new concept it is "not stealing" an old fashioned idea maybe but one that I think works.

I too have 'borrowed' cd's, but I too have bought them after I have decided this is something I like and want to add to my collection.

Music matters which means so does the artist who made it.

Please support all artists buy encouraging everyone to honour the fact that they spent time and money on producing the artifact and should be paid accordingly.

Please enjoy Gillian Welch who says it so brilliantly and poignantly below.

Please visit the music matters website.

Please honour the music you love.

http://www.whymusicmatters.org/

Everything is free now,
That's what they say.
Everything I ever done,
Gotta give it away.
Someone hit the big score.
They figured it out,
That we're gonna do it anyway,
Even if doesn't pay.

I can get a tip jar,
Gas up the car,
And try to make a little change
Down at the bar.

Or I can get a straight job,
I've done it before.
I never minded working hard,
It's who I'm working for.

(Chorus)

Every day I wake up,
Hummin' a song.
But I don't need to run around,
I just stay home.

And sing a little love song,
My love, to myself.
If there's something that you want to hear,
You can sing it yourself.

'Cause everything is free now,
That what I say.
No one's got to listen to
The words in my head.
Someone hit the big score,
And I figured it out,
That we're gonna do it anyway,
Even if doesn't pay.

A holy omelet...

2010-04-04T08:55:00.000-07:00

Today I am listening to Dave Matthews and bartender please...

It's Easter Sunday today and for some that is a very sacred day and for some it is a day of over priced confectionery, most people probably fall somewhere in between these two Easter bookends. Me? I just keep falling, getting up and falling, get up and ...

Where-ever you are between these bookends there is little dispute that the Easter story has had a profound effect on the history of humanity right up to the present day and is a story worth exploring.

I have assembled some of the audio and visual elements that sum up my thoughts on the subject of easter and its central character...

Dave Matthews presents a most amazing lyrical reflection...
Ben Hur tells how the story changed another mans life...
Eddie Izzard brings us some hysterical reality checks on how we engage with this bank holiday weekend...

If I go
Before I'm old
Oh, brother of mine
Please don't forget me if I go

Bartender, please
Fill my glass for me
With the wine you gave Jesus that set him free
After three days in the ground

Oh, and if I die
Before my time
Oh, sweet sister of mine
Please don't regret me if I die

Bartender, please
Fill my glass for me
With the wine you gave Jesus that set him free
After three days in the ground

Bartender, please
Fill my glass for me
With the wine you gave Jesus that set him free
After three days in the ground

I'm on bended knees, I pray
Bartender, please

When I was young, I didn't think about it
Now I can't get it out of my mind

I'm on bended knees
Father, please

Oh, and if all this gold
Should steal my soul away
Oh, sweet mother of mine
Please redirect me if this gold

Bartender, you see
The wine that's drinking me
came from the vine that strung Judas from the Devil's tree
His roots deep, deep in the ground

Bartender, you see
The wine that's drinking me
came from the vine that strung Judas from the Devil's tree
his roots deep, deep in the ground,in the ground

I'm on bended knees
Oh, Bartender, please

I'm on bended knees
Father, please

When I was young, I never dreamed about it
Now I just want to run and die

I'm on bended knees
Oh, Bartender, please
Bartender, please

How much muchness is not enough?

2010-03-27T08:26:00.000-07:00

Today I am listening to Dave Rawlings and I hear them all...

This week I was in school, sixth form finishing my Spirit of the dragon/Never give up project by delivering a series of workshops in their PSE day. For those of my age and not involved in the education system that stands for Personal and Social Education. This is the place where teenagers get taught 'life skills', such as information on issues such as Domestic Violence, Racism and Sex Ed. All very worthy and essential topics for kids growing up in any society but especially those in some of the 'identified' areas that I work in where information on domestic violence will resonate with many of the pupils.
I have to say it was one of the hardest days I have spent for a while and one of the most insightful into the realities of the comprehensive system. The pupils did not want to be there, half voted by staying away those that were present were trying very hard not to be 'present'. I was determined to make a connection and began some very frank open ended questions about school life and PSE. I was saddened by the results, for many this PSE was too little too late, this is a non-graded subject and teachers have their hands full to get results for the graded subjects, so no finger pointing there. If a finger is to be pointed it is at all of us including the pupils themselves.

This week I went to see Alice 3D. I loved it. I came out of the cinema with one word in my head, 'muchness'. A brilliant description of Alice's lack of moral courage, her innate spark and her passive responses. The hatter remarks that she used to have it when she was there before.

That is what was missing from the conversations I had with the pupils. I was reminiscing in the staff room with another workshop deliverer about when we were students and it was all - marching in the streets and down with Thatcher. There used to be a lot more muchness in the air and in the belly.

Several pupils sat in the class with a single ear phone in listening to their Ipods, the duty teacher instructed them to remove the said distraction. They did not want to hear anything any of us workshop leaders had to say, until a few of their peers piped up to my direct questioning and opened up discussion. Then it became obvious that it was not that they had lost their muchness, they had simply never been introduced to it.

Finger pointing is useless and counter productive for every one. But as scientists all over the world try to figure out what on earth the Higgs factor is in the answer to the universe, I would like to put forward a theory that the 'muchness' factor is what's missing in education.

Dave Rawlings and the Old Crow Medicine Show sings...

I hear the crying of the hungry
In the deserts where they're wandering
Hear them crying out for Heaven's own
Benevolence upon them
Hear destructive power prevailing
I hear fools falsely hailing
To the crooked wits of tyrants when they call

I hear them all (3 times)

I hear the sounds of tearing pages
And the roar of burning paper
All the crimes in acquisition
Turn to air and ash and vapor
And the rattle of the shackle
Far beyond emancipators
And the loneliest who gather in their stalls

I hear them all (3 times)

So, while you sit and whistle Dixie
With your money and your power
I can hear the flowers a-growing
In the rubble of the towers
I hear leaders quit their lyin'
I hear babies quit their cryin'
I hear soldiers quit their dyin', one and all

I hear them all (3 times)

I hear the tender words from Zion
I hear Noah's waterfall
Hear the gentle lamb of Judah
Sleeping at the feet of Buddha
And the prophets from Elijah
To the old Paiute Wovoka
Take their places at the table when they're called

Easier Rider said than done...

2010-03-20T10:46:00.000-07:00

Today I am listening to Julian Cope and it's a bruising shattering ride...

If you have not already watched Brian Cox's Wonders of the solar system, then as soon as you have finished reading this blog fire up the BBC iPlayer and watch parts 1 and 2...this is as beautiful as particle physics gets.

Brian Cox enthuses us,he brings the Sun and it's life giving power into clearer focus than ever before, through high calculus diagrams drawn in the sand at night in the middle of the desert with a burning stick. Now that, is how the laws of the universe should be explained to us. By someone who is truly excited and cares and wants you to care too, and to be as excited about it all as they are.

I remember being 12 and being at school and thinking to myself as the teacher was explaining some elementary biology..."I don't believe you". And that moment marked the beginning of the age of doubt. this boy did not need to be doubting yet, I needed to be fed truth. I soon understood that I was only being given answers to future test papers. I was not being given the building bricks of understanding that I so desperately needed. My respect for adults began to dissolve and did not stop dissolving even when I became one myself. I wanted to be given clues to how and why. I still do.

As a teenager my confusion and chaos grew, I found I was good at art and imagination, these were not passions that were shared by many of my classmates and friends. I trusted even less my peers than I did my elders. Through my troubled teens the Easy Rider poster hung on my bedroom wall even before I had seen the film.
Ride. Fast. Loud.Open Road. Free...

Later at 23 I had a motorbike of my own. I loved it with as much passion as it scared me. One sunny day a year later, I was riding through country lanes, the sun was fantastic and warm and bright and I felt great, I turned a corner the sun hit my visor, for seconds I was blind, the sun vanished, I could see, I could see a large black car waiting to turn, too late, I hit it, my bike and I left the road and summersaulted over the car, I landed on a grass verge the bike landed on the tarmac. My 20 some years flashed before me.

It is a bruising shattering ride - Julian Cope tells us - but i can not deny myself this luxury.

On Monday I go into school and spend an hour with high school pupils, the theme is Never Give Up - on friends - family - faith. In the PSE lesson I show them a video of a 60 plus man who tells us "I only trust 5 people in this world", He is a lucky man I think.

Brian Cox tells us how the solar system began, and how we are all made and he does not mention God, he talks about the Sun and dust and a physical law. I find myself sighing with relief that there is a fundamental physical law.

Life - it's a bruising shattering ride, but I can not deny myself this luxury....

Julian Cope performing East Easy Rider
http://www.myvideo.de/watch/5117506/Julian_Cope_East_Easy_Rider

Run for Fun?

2010-03-14T10:29:00.000-07:00

Today I am listening to Al Stewart and we're all standing on the border...

Well today I actually turn 45. Penblwydd Hapus as they say here in Wales and indeed as I had sung to me impromptu by some neighbours kids as I walked back from the park.
This week I watched the second installment of Eddie Izzard:marathon man. For those who have not heard Eddie Izzard stand up comedian (and many other titles) decided to run around the UK to raise money and awareness for sport relief. In reality he is running 43 marathons with a couple of days off in between. He is not a natural runner or in peek condition, he is though very determined and has chosen a route that takes him through childhood landmarks, such as his mother dying when he was six in Skewen South Wales. For anyone who has attempted running of any distance you will appreciate his strength of will and amazing stamina.
I am looking back on my 45 years and asking the same question I have been asking folk in the estates where I work as a community artist..."what have you never given up on and where do you turn for strength". The answers have fallen into the categories of Friends, Family and Faith. But where do you turn to in you? Who or what is it inside you that keeps you going, pushes you on.
I remember so clearly getting the Year Of The Cat album and setting about learning the songs with my mate. I also remember as an 18 year old listening to On The Border and staring at the world map of the world on my wall. The lyrics went "On the wall the colours of the maps are running"...this was inspirational to a young aspiring rock star/artist/actor who wanted to travel far away.
I remembered this only today. Only as I put the CD on did great chunks of my late teens come flooding back. This was in-fact one of the reasons Rachel bought me the album to help me remember my teenage years when I come to write the Hush Novel later this year.
What kept me going all that time to stay true to being the artist, musician and dramatist that I am today was that stirring of my imagination, so well expressed in the song line..."we're all standing on the border".
Crossing borders from one country to another from one year to another, it is that sense of excitement of what lies ahead that keeps pushing me, gives me strength when I am tired. I want to make sure that I have explored the new lands. Whether I do this physically by traveling or in a more metaphorical sense is not important, what is essential is that I continue to cross the border.
What is great is that I am realising that I am as strengthened and empowered by borders I have crossed in the past as by the borders I will cross tomorrow.
Life is often said to be like running a marathon, but I think it is more like running consecutive marathons...bloody exhausting but the only way to travel if you really want to meet the people, see what they see, hear what they hear and talk about how they cross their own borders or even better get alongside them and run together for a while. Some borders are harder to cross than others and may take a running partner to encourage you through.

Please enjoy the Al Stewart video and tune in to iplayer and catch up with the inspirational Eddie. Look after those blisters but don't stop running and crossing the borders.

Thumbs out and smile...

2010-03-07T02:06:00.000-08:00

Today I am listening to Gogol Bordello and we are going through the roof and underground...

In one week it will be 45 years that I have been hitching a ride on this space bus earth. I am one of 6 billion hitch hikers and we are all committed to going to where ever this land of space dirt is going. So many of us try and move around the bus itself to try and make the journey more interesting, to find out who else is on board and what they think of the journey so far. Some don't. Some resent sharing the seats with others. Some get very planet sick and try to jump out the window.
Yesterday I re-watched a film called Wristcutters - a love story...and yes it's about people who commit suicide and the hinterland place they find themselves in. It may not sound a laugh a minute but I do encourage you to explore it...it's beautifully made and strangely uplifting. The premiss is that after they top themselves they actually end up in a world very much like the one they left only just a little bit worse and where you can't smile.
I have to say that I know folk who already seem to live in a place just a little bit worse than this one...
Last Thursday I launched a new community arts project called CAN DO. The idea to encourage and inspire folk to turn around their tattered and torn communities into positive masterpieces, primarily through community intergenerational art projects or Murals as we call them. It is amazing how a bunch of people painting a wall can change the quality of life in that area.

So today I am listening to Eugene Hutz singing through the roof and underground a song used to brilliant effect in the film. It is sung by the three traveling companions in a battered car, each one of them is on a personal quest but also sharing each others journey and finding ways to communicate with each other - put up with each other - get along with each other - enjoy each others company.
I am very lucky. I watched the film with my best friend - that'll be my wife - and two good friends who have been involved in the CAN DO project.
It can be a long trip of this planet bus, my observations after 45 years hitching a ride on it is to get up out of your seat and go find some other like minded travelling companions to pass the time with - Sing with - eat with - point out of the window and ask what on earth is that with....

Please enjoy the video excerpt from Wristcutters below and please visit the web link for more info and I recommend anything by Gogol Bordello to help pass those long hours on the trip.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_pfLuFDx7I&fmt=18
(unable to embed vid so please visit link)

http://www.peoplearoundhere.com/page6/page6.html

Free ride...

2010-02-27T06:25:00.000-08:00

Today I am listening to John Martyn and there is a man in the station...

In March I am going to be 45. That feels real good to write. I am listening to John Martyn and there is a man at the station and there is one last circle I am dying to try...there is a journey that I am excited about taking. In reality I have not been on an actual train platform for many years except a Eurostar to Paris. mostly because they seldom seem to take me where I need to go and even if they did I could not afford to pay the fare....umm I miss my student railcard...but I do not miss being a student, I do not miss it cos I never stopped being one, (my Mum will testify to that, she is still waiting for me to grow out of my earring phase).

I remember laying on station platform at the age of 19 listening to Solid Air when this track came on, I was on my way to a free festival in the Hampshire woods, the sun was gorgeously hot and the air smelt of diesel and dust, coffee and cake, lemonade and licorice and freshly lit Golden Virginia. Me and my travelling cohorts played the C60 cassette in the portable player and surprisingly no one else on the platform seemed to object, really they did'nt, I remember looking around at the assembled masses of which their were quite a few, it being a hot sunny Saturday. All of human kind sat and saunted up and down the platform and to a soul they seemed to all be sharing the moment. There were old folk and kids, parents and partners and I saw a timeline of my own existence stretch before me down the platforms edge, would I even make it to see me married, kids, and OAP. I was distracted from existential stream of consciousness by site of some very exciting looking ladies who were being approached by my cohorts...I pressed stop on the cassette player and flicked my roly in to the tracks as time pulled into the station and we all climbed aboard.

Please enjoy the John Martyn clip below and I have to say it is best listened to on the move...

Handle with Care

2010-02-20T07:52:00.000-08:00

Today I am listening to Leonard Cohen and who shall I say is calling...

I've been working with some teenagers from the local estate, interviewing older members of the community and making a small film. The guys are also rappers and have created a song based on the interviews. I am then making this into a video. I was humbled by the way they had interpreted the stories of the older folk, folk who are operating from such a distant moral and value system. Yet Reepa and C4 {their working non deplumes} took in these stories, processed them and sent them back out again in a very dynamic and connected stream of lyrics.

Last night I was watching for the 'nth' time the first 'Ghost in the Shell' film from Masamune Shirow. A state of the art Japanese animation from 1995 {still looking good even in todays cgi climate}. One of the key characters Kusanagi has a cyborg body but has her original organic brain. The worlds of humans, cyborgs and the electric ether of cyberspace are merging and a new consciousness is being created. Kusangi says "the only thing that makes me feel human is the way that I'm treated"

Relationship - relating - not reacting but relating. Most of how we engage with each other seems to be about reacting to someone, rather than relating to the person. I do it, I try and catch myself and adjust my engagement with the people I meet, it takes an effort to do this. It does not seem to be instinctive. I wish that it were. The more I spend time interviewing people, the more I get to see just how thin and fragile these shells are that we have to contain our souls or sprits or ghosts. Our reactions are designed to be immediate, a self preservation, kill or be killed, dump or get dumped, hurt or get hurt.

Leonard Cohen asks over and over Who, Who, Who shall I say is calling. I take this as his invitation to the stranger to introduce them-self. I shan't presume to know you, to judge you, to fear or love you, please take your time and tell who you are...we may find we have much in common.

Enjoy Len singing in an unbelievable subsonic register...and here are a few more philosophical moments from Ghost in the Shell...

Solon and Beegone...

2010-02-14T09:50:00.000-08:00

Today I am listening to Talking Heads and Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens...

This morning I got a very precious two hours of uninterrupted reading time on the sofa...it's what Sunday mornings were invented for. I finished Douglas Coupland's Generation A. I highly recommend it...although if I am honest it was more of a VHS cassette than an DVD...a bit clunky and too linear! But well worth even the hardback price which is what I got... always read it with the slip jacket off...it automatically feels like a classic. The Bee's have gone and so has humanity's humanity and there is a link. I do not want to present spoilers but as with Generation X it deals with story and the telling of story. It tracks alongside this the story of Solon the drug which is everyones choice bar the lead characters and therein lies the plot. Where have all the stories gone and the story tellers, which used to be us, you, me, him, her, they, we etc. If you are breathing you have a story to tell and as in the book I don't mean what did you do today darling - although that is a good starting point - but to close your eyes and imagine a place and fill it with fine and friendly folk who go wrong and fall and get up and becomes heroes and monsters and, and, and...and then say it out loud as you do it.
Sell the telly, bin the radio, close those laptop lids - after you've read this - and create language and let your ears and mind do the rest.
Tomorrow I am taking two teenagers from a pretty tough estate in Cardiff and we are going to interview some members of the same community who have clocked up at least 60 years each on this earth sandwich of ours and ask them 'What have you never given up on and how did you get through it?'
I have done this a few times myself with some older folk and made short films but this time the teenagers themselves will be behind the camera and asking the questions. The stories are true and from another time, a time when story was not reduced to an sterile linking of action scenes in a sloppywood movie. I can guarantee my two young friends will remember tomorrow and will tell the stories they hear again, both to themselves and to others, to steal a line from Douglas who says that friends are like money... ie of great value so stories have a currency, they buy you time, time when others will close their mouths open their ears and minds and be one with you. It's called a connection and there is nothing like it! I say again there is nothing like it.

Like Couplands 'Solon' David Byrne's vision of heaven is somewhat beautifully seductive and on one level sounds like the place to spend eternity and on another sounds like hell. It looped in my head as I read the decline of mans invention without the bee intervention.

I invite you listen to David and Douglas respectively and then read Generation A, but first remove the cover.

Apocalyptic shopping trolley...

2010-02-06T10:02:00.000-08:00

Today I am listening to Fairport Convention and we are
all meeting on the ledge...

I was in one of the giant supermarkets today...Saturday...bad day to be buying anything...I had time enough at the cash-out to read the covers of the 'real life' celebrity magazine covers...and I have to say that Angelina Jolie is not looking well at all. I looked up along the 30 odd cash-outs in-front of me and watched the fathers and children, mothers and children passing through with the kids hanging on to the trolley as if it was Santa's sledge.. interestingly I didn't see many mums and dads together..I guess they flip the Saturday shop coin and see who runs the provisions gauntlet. It was hard not to recall the image of the father and his son from the movie The Road, I shan't spoil it for those who have not seen or read it..(I recommend both reading and watching it). Earth is dead and dying, cannibals roam the land and one boy and his father clutch on tight to each other and the shopping trolley of salvaged goods, heading for the coast in hope of hope...It's a brilliant image of the end of mankind with the trolley as the decaying symbol of mans greed...but more than that I am focussed on the way the father and boy hold onto each other and are completely reliant on each other. They each represent hope to one another and a reason to continue. The boy asks 'are we the good guys'.

Are we the good guys and what are we holding onto, clutching onto?

The monkey who tries to get the apple out of the jug but cant because his paw and the apple are too big to pass through the neck. he will have to let go in order to get the apple out...but he does not.

So my question is what am I, what are we holding onto so tight that it is stopping us from moving on...surviving. As
individuals and as global community what values - greeds - lifestyles - are we clutching onto be it consciously or unconsciously, that make The Road more than
a gripping drama but a shuddering glimpse up ahead.

So today I am listening to Fairport Convention and Sandy Deny tells me that too many friends have tried, blown off this mountain by the wind...this is a song that has both haunted me and provided me with hope ever since I heard it as a teenager...I imagined everyone I knew treading very slowly around a mountain on a very thin ledge...very scary...but what gave me hope was that in my minds eye I saw the people on the ledge were protecting themselves from being blown away by...simply holding each others hands... they were each connected to each other and therefore were not a single fragile being able to be swept away but a thousand legged chain tightly leading their friends through danger...

All weather Avatars

2010-01-30T07:36:00.000-08:00

Today I am listening to Eddie Vedder and there is a big hard sun beating on the big people in a big hard world...

Yesterday Rachel and I went to see Avatar in 3D on an Imax screen. We came out 3 hours later and £21 pounds poorer and I can honestly say I have not been that excited by a movie experience since I saw Blade Runner and very long time ago.

I was in the film - virtually - this is what have been waiting for, for a long time since I first started to become obsessed by Sci-fi Fiction 30 odd years ago...to live in the future...to be taken away into another world for my imagination to become a reality.

Also this week I was appointed the Volunteer co-ordinator for a local community project who have embarked on a long term ambitious environmental regeneration program to transform their community into a beautiful place to live. It is a socially - economically deprived area that is taking steps to change it's expectations.

I love the Eddie Vedder soundtrack to the film Into The Wild, the main character decides to opt out and and escape to the wilderness, naive and unprepared, it is a brilliant film and a tragic story. What it took him isolation to realise was that he needed people, he needed to be 'in it'.

May I humbly encourage us all to hesitate before we just observe and comment, criticise and tut, as we engage with a problematic 2D reality but instead transform it into a 3D existence by stepping into it and actually look for the change from within. Be in it! If we are any kind of avatar, let it be one that we created for ourselves and not one that was formed for us from the constant manipulation of the cheap and nasty vitriol of the X factor mentality. Be the giant that you wished you were - a giant is simply someone that stands tall amongst his/her peer group - someone who stands up for those unable to stand up for themselves. That is a giant, and you can be blue or any damn colour you want! It is a big hard sun, it is a big hard world and we need to be big people and in 3D. Glasses are provided at the entrance...

A few links to inspire the all weather avatar in us all...

avatar [ˈævəˌtɑː]

1. (Non-Christian Religions / Hinduism) Hinduism the manifestation of a deity, notably Vishnu, in human, superhuman, or animal form

2. a visible manifestation or embodiment of an abstract concept; archetype

3. (Electronics & Computer Science / Computer Science) a movable image that represents a person in a virtual reality environment or in cyberspace

[from Sanskrit avatāra a going down, from avatarati he descends, from ava down + tarati he passes over]

Stay Positive...

2010-01-20T01:25:00.000-08:00

Today I am listening to the Hold Steady and you've gotta stay positive.

I was at a friends house having dinner and the question was asked have you got any big plans for the future...quite a big question as we were only half a glass of wine part way through the tapas starter...I replied 'to end well'.

To clarify I am not referring to the last words from my mouth as I whisper great profound conclusions to life that deserve their place on the marble tomb stone. (Although I do have big plans for that moment too!)

What I refer to is how i intend to spend the second half of my life. I am 45 now and each year that I am still here I claim it as the half way mark, thus I continually sit in the state of extending my mortal travels indefinitely.

I am talking about Never Giving Up, about Daliwch Ati (Welsh for stay with it). In my work as a community artist I spend a lot of time, through the arts, encouraging folk to do just that, be they any age or any ability. The dinosaur of the pension fund is now down to a few wheezing brontosaurus lost in the fiscal jungle. So I am not looking to ride one of them out of this life. If life is a race I intend to run harder than ever before. Achieve more than ever before and try as best I can to be someone who will not be considered part of the problem.

Below I have included two videos that should form part of your stay positive never give up kit. I suggest watching the story then the song and then...

Stay Positive - Hold Steady

i've got a lot of old friends that're getting back in touch
and it's a pretty good feeling yea it feels pretty good
i get a lot of double takes when im coming round the corners
and its mostly pretty nice its mostly pretty alright
'cause most kids give me credit for being down with it
when it was back in the day back when things were way different
when the youth of today and the early seven seconds
taught me some of lifes most valuable lessons
there's gonna come a time when the scene'll seem less sunny
it'll probably get druggy and the kids'll seem to skinny
there's gonna come a time when shes gonna have to go
with whoevers gonna get her the highest
there's gonna come a time when the true scene leaders
forget where they differ and get big picture
cause the kids at their shows, they'll have kids of their own
the sing-a-long songs'll be our scriptures
we gotta stay positive
we gotta stay positive
we gotta stay positive
we gotta stay positive
when the chaperone crowned us the king and the queen
i knew that we'd arrived at a unified scene
and all those little lambs from my dreams
well they were there too
cause its one thing to start it with a positive jam
and its another thing to see it all through
and we couldn't of even done this if it wasn't for you
we gotta stay positive
we gotta stay positive
we gotta stay positive

the sky fell down...

2010-01-11T08:36:00.000-08:00

Today I am listening to The Roches, and the sky is falling down.

And if the sky is falling down then it is my sincerest recommendation that you take shelter as soon as possible. As defined by our global community encyclopedia: Shelter is a basic structure or building that provides cover. Where a house is a building and a home is a structure. If you have a home stay there and engage with the other members of that human unit and do the following:

Imagine a piano gather around it and sing songs
Make a large pot of soup and insist that everyone contributes to it
Listen to the singing
Smell the cooking
Look out at the sky falling down
Important: While looking out please check that as far as you can see no one has been left outside looking in

When all the soup is mopped up and all the singing sung out curl up with another willing human unit and watch a film...cos it's cold out there today...but I'll let Richard Henzel tell you all about it.

Please visit:

Shelter
The Roches